i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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