well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
