I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
