I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize