I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Randomize