having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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