You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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