it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
