kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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