home. puking in laundry basket.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
