whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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