She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
