I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
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