I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
