I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
