yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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