I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
