If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
is that a dick in a sweater?
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