To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
God I need to hump something, right now.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
