How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
he had hair everywhere except his balls
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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