The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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