Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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