hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
