My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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