if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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