I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
