I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
