You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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