when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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