is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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