you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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