How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
