I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I don't deserve a penis
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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