people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
