i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
