I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
