I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Randomize
