Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
