your room smells of hookers.
And success
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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