We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
