what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize