just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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