remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
