I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
my being single is dangerous.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
