told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
