I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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