Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
