So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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