on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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