HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
