Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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