our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
