everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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