The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
