Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
