Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
