Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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