your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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