I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize