i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
No subtext here. People are naked.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
