whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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