You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Randomize
