Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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